Death

All the while I simply experience the feeling like a reluctant bystander, it’s not like I can do anything to stop. Or embrace whole-heartedly the things that the Gods throw at me. I am a child, once again.

I am helpless against it all, vulnerable. All I ask for is to slow down. For time to stop where it is, so that I can grasp a moment. any moment, a spark of hope to process this thing we call living. Though it appears nonsensical, I’ve been taught to carry on. But what is the point of continuing if I haven’t a purpose? Haven’t a goal, an aspiration, any sense of motivation to keep me from stopping. From ending it all, to cut this thread of life Gaia has gifted me. All I yearn for is my Mother to engulf me into her infinite shadows, her safe grounds which I shall lay in at peace.

 Can you recall everything that has transpired this week? Can you express to me in detail how you felt, what it is that you did, what areas you explored between this time? Five days have gone. What have you done in these five days? What have you achieved? I can tell you. The same thing you do every other day. Woken up for slavery, walked into slavery. Dreaded your job and dreaded the next day, too. Survived painstakingly throughout the day until finally resting upon your spring coffin. Stayed in your bed to find your alarm call in the morning for it to all repeat again. 

How many hours do you waste contemplating your life, overthinking scenarios about people who couldn’t care less, crying tears for people who are no longer present? Times you simply… exist.

Moments where you do not do anything. Rather just feel programmed to continue, day in and day out. Slave to the system and slave to society. Slave to your parents and slave to your partners. Slave to this earth and slave to the heavens. Slave to your surroundings and most importantly,

 Slave to yourself.

I speak so high, yet I lay aware that rejection is futile. There is no such thing as freedom, we are all bound one way or another. There is nothing our minds can fulfil to their satisfaction, our minds are individuals, unique and different.

Unity is such a laughable concept. Gathering several brains that are alike, rejecting, defying, invalidating the brain that doesn’t. The brain that questions and objects, the brain with unalike thoughts is banished. Is this your unity? Is this your so called “teamwork”?

There are levels of hypocrisy, yet you managed to create a hierarchy of your own.